


Sweet Longing

by truth_universally_acknowledged



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Colonial Lesbians, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Sapphic, forbidden colonial lesbians, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 19:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7401229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_universally_acknowledged/pseuds/truth_universally_acknowledged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna Strong is reeling after the disastrous almost-wedding to Hewlett. Still at Whitehall, she feels sad and alone. Meanwhile, Mary Woodhull has been thinking more and more about Anna, and on one rainy afternoon, those thoughts come to light. Sapphic oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Longing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MercuryGray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercuryGray/gifts).



_ Sweet mother, I cannot weave-- _

_ slender Aphrodite has overcome me _

_ with longing for a girl. _

_          -Saphho _

 

It was uncommonly quiet and peaceful in the Whitehall drawing room, a rarity these days. There had been no shouting matches today, no angry words or sour looks from Judge Woodhull, and no soldiers or rangers traipsing in and out. It was pleasantly quiet, but not unnerving. The sky had darkened earlier that morning, signaling poor weather, but it turned out to be just rain, and a calming one at that. The rain pattered softly at the glass, blurring the normally crisp and clear view of the trees just outside. 

 

Anna was grateful for this peaceful afternoon. Judge Woodhull was off in his study, probably concocting another evil scheme. She hated the man more than ever now, after what he’d done at the wedding. 

 

_ It wasn’t meant to be, _ she kept telling herself, but every time she said that, her heart felt heavier. She knew it was a lie. Her heart cried out for Edmund, and she had to stifle tears every time he crossed her mind. It would have been so nice to be married...to have a husband, a home of her own, in a place where no one knew her name and she could start all over, maybe even a child, with dark hair and inquisitive eyes like Edmund’s….

 

She shivered under the weight of her thoughts that shrouded her like dark and heavy cloak, turning her attention instead to the little blonde child in her lap. Thomas was playing with two little figurines carved like soldiers. One was painted red, and the other blue. He pretended as though the red one was defeating the blue one, which Anna pointedly ignored as she held him in her lap.

 

Mary smiled  tenderly at the two of them, pausing a moment from her sewing. Thomas and Mary got on well, and it was good for him to have someone to play with. Anna looked on the child with such kindness, though sometimes Mary sensed that it was mainly regret disguised as kindness. Anna had never borne any children of her own. Whispers had rippled through Setauket after she and Selah had been married with no baby for a few years, but such whispers had died down after after the war started and people became more occupied with that instead.

 

She didn’t understand how she had disliked Anna at first. Sure, the adultery with Abe was not a time Mary liked to remember, but she understood why now. Anna was strong and beautiful, and Mary could not help but admire her courage over the past couple years. The spark in those dark doe eyes had dimmed, yes, but it was certainly not extinguished. It was in these quiet moments that she remembered how similar the two of them were. Both had lost their husbands to some degree (she was convinced she’d make Abe come round again one day; it just wasn’t working now), neither of them had very many friends (no thanks to Judge Woodhull for that), and they were lonely. 

 

So very lonely. Mary couldn’t remember the last time she’d had someone to talk to, someone to work with, someone to hold Thomas and actually knew how to properly hold a child. Simcoe, Judge Woodhull, and the other soldiers were not adept at needlework or childcare. She missed being understood. Her sewing circle hadn’t met in some time.

 

A female companion. When was the last time she’d had one of those?  She imagined Anna felt much the same--her work was filled with men, day in and day out. It couldn’t possibly be easy work at the tavern, filling ale and cleaning up all day, all the while having to withstand lewd comments from soldiers. 

 

_ Women are so much kinder _ , Mary thought.  _ If only we could learn to be more kind to one another _ ...

 

Mary’s reverie was interrupted by a loud outburst from Thomas. Anna looked at him, crooning, asking him what could possibly be wrong. 

 

“I’m hungry!” he declared. 

 

“Well then, can you ask nicely for some food?” Anna asked, raising an eyebrow and regarding him as she might a rowdy tavern goer. 

 

Mary set down her sewing and stood up, arms outstretched to relieve Anna of the child. 

 

“Here, let me take him to the kitchen,” she offered. 

 

“Oh, it’s no trouble. I could do it,” Anna replied, but Mary was already up and at her side, ready to take Thomas. “Here, let’s go with your mama,” she said, turning to look at Thomas. 

 

Mary wasn’t quite sure how it happened--an awkward fumble, maybe, while attempting to transfer the child, but suddenly her lips brushed Anna’s cheek in the gentlest of ways. She would have liked to say it was over as quick as it happened, but her lips lingered perhaps a little longer than they should have. 

 

Anna stared at her, confused and at a loss for words. Mary, immediately realizing her mistake, blushed and looked away. 

 

“That was meant for Thomas,” she explained quickly, suddenly fascinated by the pattern of the rug. Anna nodded and clasped her hands behind her back, unsure of what to say or do. 

 

“I want a kiss, too!” Thomas cried. Anna had never been more grateful for the naivety of a child than in that moment. Mary smiled quickly and kissed his cheek as she had meant to before casting an embarrassed look at Anna, as if to apologize for what had just transpired. 

 

Anna nodded, unable to say anything back. It had just been a peck on the cheek, nothing more. Was that really something to be so embarrassed about? 

 

\--------------------------------

 

Mary took a deep breath and smoothed her skirts before knocking on Anna’s door. She intended to apologize for that embarrassing incident in the drawing room earlier that day, but she felt nervous, for reasons she couldn’t quite place. It hadn’t really been such a big deal, had it? Oh, but Mary could read Anna like a book, and she could tell she’d been shocked and embarrassed. Perhaps an apology was best. 

 

Anna was in her nightgown and her hair was loose when she opened the door--evidently she’d interrupted a bedtime routine. 

 

“I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you,” Mary started.

 

Anna shook her head, stifling a yawn. “I wasn’t in bed yet. Is something the matter?” she asked. Mary was still fully dressed, as if the day were just beginning. It was late--did this woman ever sleep? 

 

“Can I come in?” she asked. If someone were to overhear them, it might look suspicious. Judge Woodhull already hated Anna, and Mary knew he would use any evidence he possibly could to get her out of this house and out of Setauket. Anna’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she acquiesced. 

 

“Mary, is something wrong?” Anna cocked her head and looked at her intently, as if trying to read her mind. 

“No, no, I just...I wanted to apologize, for earlier today. I know it was inappropriate and foolish of me.” 

 

Anna’s intense look broke into a warm and gentle smile. “Mary, it’s alright. I know it didn’t mean anything, and it wasn’t meant for me.” 

 

“I was embarrassed and I hoped I didn’t embarrass you.” 

 

“Really, Mary, it’s alright. I’m sure it didn’t mean anything--” 

 

Mary cut her off, trying to get the words out while she still could. “No. I...it did mean something. To me, at least.” 

 

If Anna had been a silly little schoolgirl, she might have blushed crimson. But she wasn’t, so her cheeks only blossomed with a spot of pink. 

 

“It did?” 

 

“Yes, it did. Watching you with Thomas today...made me realize that you--you’re a strong woman, Anna, and in more than just your surname.” 

 

Anna paused for a moment, mulling over the words in her mind. Mary’s kiss had actually...meant something? Mary Woodhull entertained feelings for her? Could this possibly be true? 

 

Mary shook her head and looked away. “I’m so sorry. I’m ashamed to have said such things. You must think me disgusting,” she said, turning away and heading for the door. 

 

“Wait! Mary…” she whispered, grasping Mary’s arm before she could leave the room. Much to her own surprise, she kissed Mary gently on the cheek. If Mary hadn’t known better, she might have thought it rose petals brushing against her skin, for Anna’s kiss was so timid. 

 

“I don’t think that at all. I understand.” 

 

Now it was Mary’s turn to cock her head. The expression on her face betrayed a curious wonder.

 

“What do you understand?” 

 

Anna sighed. “I understand...what it’s like, to want be wanted sometimes.” Anna’s dark eyes revealed a depth of emotion Mary had not seen in them before. So many unspoken words in that look, but no words needed be spoken. Each woman perfectly understood the other. 

 

An awkward silence befell them for a few moments, and Anna was sure Mary would run away angry, but that didn’t happen. 

Instead, Mary leaned in close to Anna and kissed her lips, ever so lightly and sweetly. It was over far too quickly, as Mary muttered a goodnight and darted away before Anna had time to react. As soon as Mary was gone, she broke into a broad grin. Suddenly she didn’t feel so tired anymore, and this brightened the prospect of living at Whitehall. 

 

In the safety and comfort of her own room, Mary touched her fingertips to her lips. Had she really just done that? She’d meant to apologize, not make things even more awkward. Should she go back and…? Oh hell. To react right now was to cause unnecessary drama. A real, proper apology would have to wait until morning.

 

Or was an apology really needed? It was just a kiss, after all. Such light, sweet, accidental kisses...she smiled to herself at the thought. 

 

The next morning at breakfast, when Mary kissed Thomas good morning, she looked sideways at Anna, who smiled over her teacup. 

  
No, those accidental kisses were not so bad at all.  

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a prompt I fulfilled on Tumblr, but it was cute, so I thought I'd post it here, too. I get a strong feeling that Mary and Anna are actually super into each other, and I wanted to write a little more about those repressed feelings. Also, sorry if the depictions of Anna and Mary were OOC. I'm still working on getting into their heads.


End file.
